Dating Advice: Who should Pay for the First Date? 

Who should pay on a first date. How about Going Dutch? Should the first date be Split? Should he pay if she asked him out? It's your first date with a lady. Should you pay for everything?

Here are some of the common first dating answers for you:  

The question of who pays is really a question that is more commonly asked than you think. It comes down to the type of relationship that you are looking for. Traditionally, the man usually pays for the first date and most others unless you have a different arrangement. This thinking, of course, was tradition "back in the day". In fact, parents of girls, felt that it was a requirement that the man or "guy" should pay the cost of the first date and subsequent dates. It meant that he was a responsible person and most likely had an income. The first impression was a lasting one. Things have now changed. Some will argue that since women are a good part of today’s work force that she should equally be responsible for paying for the first date or share the cost. Some even alternate paying for dates. Some men now even point out that many women think of them as a ATM machine, spitting out free lunches and dinners to every women in town. So who pays?

So, probably the best way to approach the questions of who pays on the first date, is just ask! You probably will find out a lot of information that you may want to know or may be NOT know about the person with whom you are interested on dating! Most likely, you will probably associate the same thinking as your parents did and wonder if that person has the funds to take you on a date. It may send a "red flag" to you and it may be a "thumbs up". Of course, if your first date is a dinner and/or a movie, then not having funds for this would certainly be questionable. If your thinking that your date doesn’t have funds to go on a cruise for the first time, then perhaps you may be asking too much.

Let’s face it. Isn’t it better to ask up front what the date will consist of and who will pay, than starting off with misunderstanding your role and you left sitting there with a restaurant "tab" that you didn’t expect or want to pay? Don’t always assume who pays. That is the good part, however, the downside is that your date may not even decide to go out with you if he or she thought differently about you. This could be good also because it could be one way of weeding out any undesirables specially for the first date. If money or paying seems to be a priority, then perhaps this is what you do not want from your date. You want that first date to show that you have an interest in getting to know that person and to have fun. If this is your intention, then by all means, go ahead and pay for the first date, then discuss whose paying next time. Worrying about who pays for what certainly puts a drag on your date.

If your budget is tight, there are a lot of places that you can suggest to your date. It is much better to tell the person and be up front. It is an admirable trait. Take a walk on the beach! Visit some public attraction! Go shopping together! Now that can be an "all-telling" experience. If your date wants to play the "high roller" or expect more than what you can afford, don’t put on a facade. It will only crumble with time. ENJOY your first date, don’t play her or him.

With many people starting to date again in their 30’s, 40's and older, dating has changed! You are faced with new challenges. Now you have to take into consideration both dating partners financial aspects and possible children from their prior relationship. So what does this mean? What do you really pay for? What do you want to pay for? What is today’s etiquette for this type of situation? Do I pay for babysitters too? Well, actually this is really all up to you and your dating partner. Generally speaking, and with input from other readers, communication is the key.

Even in the new millennium women still like to feel special. Yes, this may be stereotypical, but for the most part it still holds true. But it doesn’t mean that a woman can’t ask for a date first and suggest places. Usually the person who is doing the asking, pays for the date, unless the other person indicates that they will pay for it. So if the woman asks, she should be ready to pay for her date and not expect the man will pay the bill when it comes. If you prepare a meal at home, don’t expect your date for pay for it, or even half of it. That is not very cool at all. But, if your partner went to the grocery store and purchased the items for you to prepare, then that is great! Again, communication is the key to successful dating. Dating should be fun! It’s your opportunity to get to know that person and whether or not he or she will be your soul mate or that someone special.

Hey! For the young and college age daters who are limited on funds, you guys can go with friends on a group date. Not specifically to parties, especially if you don’t want your date to perceive that you are a party person. Go to a dance club or just plan a night at home watching your favorite DVD.

These are only a few suggestions regarding who is going to pay for the date. There is no specific rule, but just common sense. Just have fun on your date and don’t stress out. There are many other ways to impress your date than spending a load of cash. So go out and date happy!